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Show 038

In this week’s episode of Taste For Tenacity, we hear from Girlfriends Glasshouse Empowerment Minito Reasor. Minito walks us through building community through vulnerability, humanizing the humans in your life, and knowing your values.

Transcription

0:00  

This is Taste For Tenacity show number 38!

0:03 

Support for this podcast and the following message come from Bow Tie Advisors. We run the numbers so you can get back to running your business.

0:12

Welcome to the show that answers the question that plague students and professionals alike. What should I do with my life? To determine your greatness, follow me to the pathway of more success. Each week we interview entrepreneurs. Invest in things that you understand. Professionals, it’s just believing in yourself and your abilities, and artists that have followed their pool. You can’t be scared to push the limit. This is what we need from Ben Trela at multimedia. This is Taste For Tenacity.

0:44  

What is going on everybody? My name is Ben Trela. And this is Taste ForTenacity. This week on the show, we hear from Minito Reasor. Minito is the founder and owner of Girlfriends Glass House Empowerment. It’s an organization for women and girls focused on personal and professional development. They do training, self-discipline, and encourage love. GGE entails storytelling documentaries, workshops, community partnerships. And since 2010 Minito has been offering workshops to enable young girls and women to remove emotional and mental bondage by breaking down and explaining false narratives. Minito, welcome to the show. 

1:26

Thank you for having me, Ben. I’m so excited to be here. 

1:28 

It’s gonna be fun.

1:29  

Yeah.

 1:30  

Just from our brief conversation before recording there’s already been a decent on laughing so I figure that’s a good sign. 

1:37  

I know, you’ve been like the lucky charm. From parking to getting me here. This is perfect. 

1:43

The glass of water. I mean, we’re all, we’re spoiled today.

1:45  

 Literally.

1:49  

Recording over, the show’s over, we got what we needed. So, let’s kind of wind back the clock a little bit near in high school you’re trying to figure out at age 17 and 18, which we’re all forced to do, what do you want to do with your life? It’s a very easy question to answer at the time, I’m sure. So, what were you thinking you would do after graduating from high school? Did you have a firm plan set around that time in your life?

2:16  

I did not have a firm plan. I hated high school. It was one of those things that I went from straight A’s starting in ninth grade. I was trying to keep up with the expectations from my teachers and parents and by the time I get to 11th grade started skipping school. I noticed the peers around me and I want a cast, a cast was one of those schools, that if you go to this school, you are expected to be like a strongly focused person with straight A’s and I was, but the pressure of not knowing who I was, not able to fit in, not able to keep up with that expectation. It just led me to depression. 

 2:56  

Okay.

2:57  

So, by the time, 11th grade, I took the suicide. 

2:57  

Wow!

 2:57  

Yeah, so 12th grade, I was like, I cannot wait. This is over. 

3:04  

You’re ready to move past it.

3:06  

Yeah. 

3:06  

Do you have any idea what sort of caused you to lose interest in trying to keep up with those expectations and caused you to lose interest in high school in general? 

3:15  

Yeah. It was a conglomerate of everything. It was the shakeup of my family dynamic. My mother and father going through a rough divorce. It was trying to fit in and meet the expectations of me liking boys and not feeling like I was the boy type. Everyone, it felt like knew what they wanted to do. And when I would go to counselors, they kind of looked at me sideways. Like, why don’t you know, you should know what college you want to go to? And I didn’t and it was just this pressure of thinking that it was just something wrong with me. I started operating like in a silo. So, when I started sharing with some of my peers, it was kind of we didn’t talk about mental health, like we talked about it now. And it was a lot of different things that were going on that impacted me, that violated me. And when I speak to girlfriends, it was like, well, kind of one of those things I would kind of shrug it off. So, I just started escaping, and the less focus school became and more focused my problems became. 

 4:21  

So, this kind of perfect cocktail of everything. Yeah, everything coming together in a very negative way. You were ready to be done with high school. What were you planning on doing after graduation? Did you want to go to college track or were you still trying to figure things out? 

4:39  

Oh, yeah. I think by the time I get to elementary school, I still want to be a doctor. And that was just cool. I love the response. The responses of the adults. Oh, that’s awesome. You should be an engineer, locality engineer. Anything that fasts, you know, gave me the applause, the affirmation. I see it and then by the time, 10th grade and as you said, I would like, I don’t like this class when one of my cousins he should be an engineer because that’s where the money is. And shell a lot of black young girls are not into engineering. So, you should go into and I say, okay, and I went to the class, I sucked at it. Got a D, everybody else was like straight A’s and all the like, I don’t even know where I fit in. I don’t know. Then, after that, I remember I went to the student counselor room, and she said, ‘Well, Minito, you got some classes that you need to take, you have to take summer school’, and almost feel sick to my stomach because summer school was this taboo of something wrong with you or you are or like they would call it like, you dumb. So, I was like, oh, I’ve never been in this space. And I was gonna be in the class anyway, different high schools in Detroit. And again, it started spiraling because this started to play into my narrative. The narrative I’m not good enough, not smart enough. So, yeah. 

6:02  

It really just started to compound. So, then cut to graduation from high school.

6:07  

Yeah. 

6:08  

Ready, ready very ready clearly to leave that world and in those sets of responsibilities behind.

6:14  

Yeah. 

6:15  

What did you want to do?

6:18  

So, interesting enough, this is why these conversations are so important, right about some end of 11th grade when I attempted suicide I went to a facility and when I started to see a physician I rejected medication. I want to be this story up, but rejected medication so they pretty much told me once I leave, I would never be able to come back and that I will probably end up having another meltdown or another episode of depression. And they told me that I should find out a journey where’s it’s not going to cause me stress, they actually say like basket weaving. I’m not joking. Something really simple so I won’t have another episode. And when I told I have rejected medication. I remember sitting in my room and this counselor, it was like maybe like shoot maybe a coordinator or somebody who was just there as a support for the girls. And she said to me, I see you. And this is not the end of your story. I used to be you. And I just want you to know, you’re okay. That stayed with me. And that was the moment when it clicked. So, when it clicked, I was able to finish high school, after high school, I got a job working in a help center. It was like one of these days like this is differences new but she literally, I remember her even though I don’t remember her name. 

7:35  

Yeah. And that stuck with you. 

 7:37  

Yeah. 

 7:38  

We’re glad you’re here. First and foremost

 7:40  

Thank you.

7:42  

So, now you’re working at this help center. And something clicked and something shifted after that conversation with that counselor. Did you start to have a clear vision of where you wanted to go in your career in, any secondary education or what was you…

7:59  

What’s next? Right? Ironically enough, I started to attract women who just poured into me. Nope, I just didn’t have a clear direction of what I wanted to do. I went for customer service, but this all makes sense. Now, looking back in hindsight, I went for customer service, left there, did building. Anything I gravitated to that piqued my interest I lead on. So, by the time I got to DTE Energy, again, it was by default, through temporary agencies. This one particular lady, a director at the time, I want to shout her name, okay, Herwick. And she just gave me a chance. It was just something how she spoke to me. But if you notice the trend, it was like a particular woman who was a bit higher than me, believed in me, for some reason, because I didn’t have the traditional education. So. she kept saying, you know, you’re really great at what you do. And I want you to stay here. I’ll give you a job and human resources. And that’s it. Cool. So, started making more money. And then she said, I want to promote you but need you to get your degree. That’s how I went back to school. So, they pay for education. 

 9:07  

Not a bad, not a bad trade-off. 

 9:09  

Right, right, right.

 9:11  

And so now you’re at DTE kind of ping-ponged around to get to that point. 

9:16  

Yep. 

 9:17  

You were in billing. You were working at this help center. You’re kind of all over the board. 

9:22  

Literally. 

9:22  

What were you doing when you first got there that you know, and again, a big part of your story, as you mentioned, is other women saying I see you doing it. Let’s get you to the next level. 

 9:34  

Absolutely. 

9:35  

Yeah. 

9:35  

So, human resources I started, it was, they were doing this massive layoff. So, I started helping they’re, then it went from recruitment, then it went to organizational development. And that’s when I started training employees and it started training leaders and I got certified and I like, I love this. And I was there for 11 years, and then it was this moment when I say I love this place, want to retire here, too. Yeah, this is not me. That’s when all these pieces started to come together. I remember saying I love the stuff that I do, but this is not my life. So, I thought it was corporate. I hate it. I thought it was this particular leader I didn’t like. But, at this moment, when this transformation and it was like, the journey started to make sense. And I said, all the stuff you’ve been through, was meant for this moment. Right now, this pivotal crossroad. When I decided to leave DTE and I jumped, no job. Just started my business. I jumped. 

9:54  

Yeah. So, at DTE. Can you just delve into a little what is organizational development for anyone who’s not familiar with what you would have been doing on a day to day basis? 

10:47  

Yeah. So organizational development is the sister of human resources, is still under the Human Resources umbrella. But organizations are now trying to find a way to engage employees, cultivate more productivity. So, they provide training for leaders like how to really motivate your employees. What are some best practices to get the best out of your employees? So, we had training from Gallup Strengths Finder where we hone in on your core values or your strengths and leverage on that. How to have difficult conversations. stay engaged at the same time. So, that’s a little bit of organization development. How do we grow? Stay focused on the higher mission of the company.

11:32  

Got it. So, sort of like offensive human resources? 

 11:35  

Yeah, I love them, start using it.

11:39  

I had a guest Chime in one time say, Okay, I’m going to use that. I will cite your name three times. And then it’s mine.

11:50  

Funny, so feel free to say. I won’t do that.

11:56 

Or development is the Office of HR. Thank you, man. Yeah. Taste For Tenacity.

12:03  

So, what do you think it was about organizational development and offensive human resources that started to kind of get you into a different zone and get you more passionate about what you’re working on? 

 12:16  

Yeah, because I found that now looking in hindsight of this journey, everything is relevant. And I thought that this will make sense. I hate this part of my life. And I was so embarrassed about what I’ve done before, but now I’m like, everything matters. So, when I had that moment, I’m like, I love what I do, what do I want to do? And all these women who were around me began to share their stories and their pain points just like me whether it was from a time and place when I was in middle school in high school or just be an adult and saying, ‘This is not my life. I want to do something I want to make an impact’. And I started bringing girls to my home. Started with my sister, my best friend, we started sharing, god help, you know, other painful moments in my life and I was engaged and didn’t go anywhere, was horrific at the time. But again, thankful for that relationship, but having conversations at my home just talking like this podcast, and I realize this is what I want to do. I want to use those resources that I’ve learned for organizational development about getting results. But I really want to bring women inspiration, you know, to inspire other women. Yeah, they should, we all share something or learn something that we can all use. 

13:35  

Yeah, you wanted to give a hand up much like other people had given you that hand up throughout. 

13:40  

Thank you. Thank you.

 13:42  

So then, what do you think it was that made these women and made these younger girls start opening up to you. What did they see or what caused that? 

13:54  

Yeah, so you know, I know people listening and I told them when I came in here, and I said, Ben, I’ll follow up your page. You’re so authentic. People want authentic people, we want to be ourselves. We wear many hats. I was here with my resources, blah, blah, blah, I am this title. I am the girlfriend, I am my sister, but who am I in totality when I can be vulnerable. And I noticed when I started to share my vulnerabilities, people started to trust me and share more. So, being vulnerable to say, I don’t have it all together, no matter how many degrees I may hold, no matter how many titles I have possessed in life, I want to be vulnerable so, I can say that just me. You know, I’m on the right path. So, that’s what it is. 

14:40  

Yeah. And this is an idea that we heard pop up in our show with Amanda Luanne where you foster trust, and you foster empathy through vulnerability, and it seems like that something you’ve tapped into early on. 

 14:56  

Yeah, because I would never forget how smart educated physicians were to help me in my situational depression. But the piece that they missed is they did not humanize me. I felt like a statistic. I felt like it was just something wrong with me. This is what kids do. I’m a teenager with struggles. But the coordinator, you know, without the big title, I remember her. I remember what she said, she humanized me first. So, when I talked to people, I don’t care what journey or where you are in your life, humanize the person and you will get their authentic through their life a lot of power. And if you could just tap into and release that. They would just be ready to just to demonstrate the impact they hope. 

 15:42  

Love it. So, you’re at DTE. You were there for 11 years. What started to shift you toward like, toward, I need to do something else compared to like, oh, I’m gonna retire here as you were saying.

15:58  

I’ll never live here. Yes, right. And so, when I was in organizational development, doing the training, we started to get real-life situations of leaders sharing some of their struggles, being a leader. And all of a sudden, leaders, I looked up to, these very high degrees, it was like, I didn’t see the degree I didn’t see. Or this villain that a lot of employees talked about them about, you know, so I started to humanize them. And they share vulnerabilities like they share struggling, being a parent and getting you to know, leading the team and having to work all these hours. And they were like, Yeah, all of this is relevant now. I want to do more of this. I want to do more of humanizing people and lead into results not just for the mission of DT but now for the mission of humanity

16:46  

Which is too very different missions. Yes. Yeah. Going from here, let’s get some good utilities out to. Let’s help people.

16:59  

So, you said you didn’t have a job lined up? Correct? 

7:03  

Oh, I started Girlfriends Glass House didn’t know how to run a business. I’m still figuring it out as I go. And I said this is what I’m going to do. And I remember I went to my senior vice president, he retired. And he’s a type-A personality, a lawyer. And if you would even talk like this, he would have been like, here’s the door. We need people who want to be here, kinda, you know, and I understand it, but he’s very type A. And I went to him, this is what I knew I was at the end. And I was sitting in a lunchroom and I saw him and I said, Can I talk to you about something? This is not his personality, not emotional, touchy, feely type of guy. And I told him that I wanted to leave and this is not it. And then he, I will never forget this. He said I wish if somebody gave me permission to do what I wanted to do, I would have done it. He said, but I was told I have to be a lawyer. I was told this is the life and journey in LA that was me. And he said, do it. He said You don’t belong here. No more like this. So, I said I’m gonna do it. I threw myself a party at DTE. I’m serious he thought I retired there. People, where you going? Working for myself. It was so weird. It was the weirdest thing.

18:15  

I got to level with you on that one. So, I went to the company for three years all throughout school. I left, I kind of bounced, been in and out, but back in August was my official last day with them and we decided that was going to be it and they hosted a retirement party for me. They got a retirement card and signed it and had a cake that said go on getting scram, which is a show reference. 

18:45  

It is hilarious!

18:46  

But yeah, it’s kind of that’s what it is. 

18:51  

I’m through with a gala speech. It’s some people that have a background. I have pictures where people are like this. It was..

19:00  

What the hell is going on here?

 19:04  

by everybody, it’s been fun.

19:08  

And I never regret. Did she just put up the deuces? yes, yeah she did.

19:15  

Oh my gosh, so you’re leaving DTE, you’re officially retired and now you started Girlfriends Glass House Empowerment without knowing how to run a business. So, I have to ask where did the name Girlfriends Glass House Empowerment comes from? 

19:34  

Yeah. So, when I brought my sister, my girlfriend opens and start sharing with them all of the vulnerable moments of my life and they started sharing and I say, you know what, I’m starting a business it’s going to be called, ‘What did I say this girl’s house?’ only like that. And then I was looking out for research and they were like, somebody’s got their name and I said, No, call it Girlfriends Glass House because a glasshouse means, we have to be transparent, we have to be authentic a house means the foundation, you know, I used to put berry, you know, limitations on my thinking now is clear, no limitation, you know. I’m making all these gestures I people can see me but if you think of the roof of the home despite no limitations, we break the barrier. So, it’s just clarity of this glasshouse and its girlfriends coming to my home literally. Yeah, like bring some wine we go, it’s gonna be at night. That’s how it started at Powerman when we started sharing our truths and lessons learned and that’s how we empowered each other. 

So, now there are two kinds of thoughts I have on that now. First, the name, you know, glasshouse kind of lends itself to people in glass houses shouldn’t throw rocks and that sort of feeds into your entire thesis of ‘Let’s be open and be vulnerable because we all have some gnarly stuff going on underneath the surface.’

20:57  

They don’t hire me for my marketing company? I like that it was what I knew. I’m just gonna go with the if you say the plants in the glasshouse would have…I’m going..Like this was his idea for the record.

21:11  

Let the record show not even charging you for it. It’s great. Right? So, it’s all about creating this environment where no one’s throwing rocks, you’re being transparent with each other. And it humanizes you. And so the other really fascinating thing about what you did is 95% of our life happens between our ears. And so, you know, there’s the 5% that happens in the world and then the rest is how we interpret it, how we internalize it, and as you explained, how you build your narrative, and sometimes we wind up and just the spiraling tailspins, and vocalizing those, voicing those tailspins can kind of cut the legs out from under it. I mean there’s a scene in I don’t know if you’re a fan of ‘The Officer’ or if you were, there was a scene where Dwight is like giving Phyllis a backrub because she tweaked her back. And she confesses that she thought her husband was cheating on her. And she just started laughing audibly. Laughing out loud because she realized how ridiculous it sounded once you get it out there and once you sort of break that spiral that you’re stuck in.

22:25  

You can set it even, I mean, you literally hit it on the nose because when we’re stuck in silos, and I would like, is it just me like, Dude, if I might go through these phases like you think you should have to figure it out. Now, I’m at a certain age, I should figure this, my life should be figured out. I’m like, I know this is not it. And what am I supposed to do? I don’t know. But when I said that, it was like the freedom a whole bunch of people at the table like I don’t know either. But what we do know is that the more we talk about it, like you said this freedom is not as ridiculous as it sounds. Then let’s tune in on what I do know. And that was like, I do know, I want to help people. I do know that I love women. I do know I love girls, and what can I do now? And that’s how you start. It’s like a pebble starts somewhere. 

 23:17  

And it’s fascinating too because admitting you don’t know, gives yourself the permission to totally screw up, totally screw up. And so, being in that space where you’re fostering these just, I don’t know if it’s revelations or just these conversations, totally lends itself to figure your own stuff out, like, oh, that jives with me. So, I’m going to take that tidbit that does and what doesn’t and sort of figuring out your story through the ears of others. 

23:52  

Why not? Ben, I don’t know why you just won’t be a woman. You know, because me, I don’t discriminate, you know, I actually invite Mic, that is the next part of the journey, but just the stuff you’re talking about is all the things that we discuss. And I know it’s not a man versus woman cause all humans to go through this. It’s just that I happen to hone in on young girls and women for my business. But you are absolutely right as these revelations when you give yourself the permission, it’s a revelation to say, ‘Now it’s freedom because even if I stumble and fall is relevant because now it’s going to be in addition to what is the next chapter and what is the next lesson, that’s going to cultivate the next impactful thing that we want to do.

24:41  

If you’re not stumbling, then you’re not moving fast.

24:44  

If you’re not stumbling, you’re not learning you’re not growing, because you already maximized I know how to walk now.

24:51  

I’m not along with that easy. I got this wasn’t that…

24:54  

I’m not a great runner. So, let’s run. you know, so, you find other things to stretch your thinking the way you view life. 

25:02  

Love it. And so now you’re, you jump in. Yeah, like just headfirst into running this business. What was that early period like when you were trying to stumble and trying to figure out what you wanted GGE to become? 

25:18  

Yeah. And it felt like the moment when I was at the, in the hospital, in the neck lady said I see you. I was uncomfortable. I was scared, overwhelmed, but free. I felt whole I felt like everyone is looking at me like you could do it on my swimming. Oh

25:42  

It’s great. Great. 

25:44  

And then a minute I got the middle of the ocean, and there was nobody around, it was like you do know you can ask for help. Like oh, yeah, yeah, I mean extra help. So, that’s it was like that. What’s the next piece? Telling people your story, sharing with them what your passions are you’ll be surprised people want to help their pivotal stones to the growth. So, once I started sharing, if people started connecting me to relevant people that helped me with my business on one of them being it was Michigan Women Foundation that was Michigan woman forward and their incubator to help small women business owners, you know, get resources, money to help cultivate your business. Yeah. So I went to the CEO and I said, I have a business. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m going to host something to talk about these issues. I would love for you to come, she returned the email,’ yeah, love to do it.’ Yeah, it was Cara Lee Cason. And she came she spoke she kept the contact and she said I got an opening for a Youth Program Manage. I love for you to have it. Now, making about very, very little money, okay, when I hire and but again, it was all relevant because it wasn’t about me making money was about making an impact. Yeah. She’s the one who said now I need you to work with girls and I said, Oh, but my business is focusing on women issues, she said, ‘You should not need to work with the girls’.. Again, here I am now, working with young girls and women now. 

27:07  

Yeah. And it’s another instance of someone saying, you know, you got what it takes. Let’s get you in the right spot. 

Thank you. 

 27:15  

So, one thing that you said you’re allowed to ask for help, right? That’s something you have to be willing to do. 

27:22  

Yes. 

 27:23  

How did you do it? Because it can be terrifying, saying, ‘Hey, help, I can’t pay you but will you help me?  How did you navigate that? 

27:36  

When I jumped and looking back on the journey, being vulnerable is critical to your growth. People love vulnerable people, people love authentic people. So, I am like, I’m vulnerable. Just be honest. They don’t like a know-it-all. Because you don’t know it all. People want to know, like, where are you in your life because there’s a connection there. And when I started sharing that, they only have two options. Yes or no? I won’t even say maybe, yes or no. And when I said that I was I told her where I will do like, yeah, I want to help you because they love that people love humility, humbleness, and that was, now is a core value of mine that I keep. So, I’m not I don’t know enough. I’m always willing to learn. That’s why I’ve never talked about Millennials. I don’t talk about Generation Z. Oh, I need you on my team. Can you work for me? I’m humbled to have you, to know how you think. So, that’s why I was able to ask. 

28:36  

It’s a totally different game when you start to try and understand why people think the way they do and understand the generational differences because young kids today are growing up in a totally different world than even I did. I’m 22 years old, and it’s a totally different environment. And so it seems like humility for you is the perfect way to admit that you don’t know it all. And hey, maybe someone can help. Yes. Which will ultimately benefit your mission of impacting as many girls and women as possible? 

29:14  

Ben, just being here in your space, you shared something remarkable. I had no idea you were 22. But I knew and what I do know of you that you’re very wise for your age, and you were able to give me gems that I will use forever. So, that’s the beauty of not knowing it all. That’s why people love to hear your perspective. I love to say, I don’t know, because there is a gift in all of us. And that’s why we need permission, like to your point to be able to share that because it’s like, oh, I could use you because you know, stuff that I do know. I don’t know, and I need you. 

29:47  

Yeah, so, like high five. Let’s do it. 

29:50  

Yeah. And that’s how you leverage just a plethora of opportunities and growth and you will find purpose. So, people say, What’s your purpose in life? Live, be your best. Be humble, open yourself up, be vulnerable, and then you want to find purpose in that.

30:06  

Fantastic. Love it. So, then you’re, you’re doing GGE, you’re building it. Then bring you on to that. Was it a nonprofit? Yes. It’s a nonprofit and as a youth program manager, working with young girls, middle school girls. 

30:22  

Okay, so now you’re a youth program manager there. You’re running GGE. And you wind up eventually starting something else on your own too, don’t you? Yeah, it keeps cultivating. So, I went from that, I’m in summer camps, men and night with high school girls, middle school girls full week and I’m like, how did I get here

0:42  

I am going to school for this.

30:45  

I don’t know where life is taking me. But what I do know I went there and I’m a Christian. So, even if you’re not, you know, there’s something greater and higher power than you. And when the middle school girls, they all sound and act like me, they were going through social issues through depression, the sadness. The different caveat was their sexuality, their identity, and Oh, I was supposed to be here. And oh, I’m now it’s taken me back to that moment in time when you thought this lesson that she was going through it was just you and there was just some bad moment in time. It’s not. It was actually the divine order to say I’ve been through this and I can relate and I want to help you. And that’s when I realized like, oh, I am supposed to be doing this and it made the connection and as that continues to grow, I got a call back from someone that reached out to me and say, Hey, I know you’re doing this thing by me helping human resources. Now Oh, that’s different. It was like this Monkey Wrench and they allowed me to be an HR director. You can still do your thing. Let me help, became HR director still got GGE. That became relevant because people still need corporate freedom, whether corporate whether or not and that now I understood, like, don’t make the corporation’s relationships, people the villain, you’re not a victim. These are relevant pieces to your purpose. So I went there, stay there for about a year and a half different changes and I will like I’m supposed to be doing something greater. And so now I consult doing HR as well for small midsize businesses because I know they needed the most and Girlfriends Glass House cultivated now to storytelling because my whole life has been unbaked narrative. So, now I do storytelling events, documentaries, I want people to visually see journeys, and also still community partnerships and workshops with girls and women. 

 32:45  

So, you’re all over the board now. 

 32:47  

Again, still all over the board. It never changes just now makes sense to me. 

 32:52  

Yeah. And it seems like your consulting really brings together the corporate experience you had with DTE. The things you’ve learned with GGE and it kind of mixes them in a different way and allows you to have a different impact than you can anywhere else. 

33:10  

I know Ben, you got to go everywhere I go, I’m like, that’s my marketing person. 

 33:15  

I can bring him in.

 33:19  

Who’s the 12-year-old. He’s 22 but he’s great. You have no idea. He thinks like a 42-year-old. FYI

33:27  

So, this is maybe a bit more focused on a question. But you are working now with high school and middle-school-aged young women. And so, you’re having these very intense conversations, the issues that you’re dealing with, and you know, the anxiety, the depressions of the world, do you think those were always there in all generations, and now, we’re willing to talk about them more openly? Yeah. Or do you think that This is some sort of new beast that’s brought upon by, you know, structural and societal changes? Where do you think that comes from? Is it a shift in the environment? Or is it will have a conversation?

34:15  

These challenges are historical. It’s nothing new because like you said, structural and societal changes. We just never learn how to have a conversation. Because we were dealing like I’m going to take in the black community, it was very taboo to talk about mental health. It was like that the wrong with you, we pray it out. And other cultures it’s a different way of dealing with depression, you know, women are just something you go through and you just suck it up. For men, there are issues because now we were given men the opportunity to be vulnerable like you should know like you are just born to lead. So now as we get older the reason why it’s more prevalent now because we like no, we have a voice. We’re going to allow different platforms, whether you got a podcast, TV, YouTube, no, I want to tell you exactly what’s going on, how I feel. Now is all this wisdom that people have from the past to say, use this wisdom and direct these emotions and feelings. So they’re not just led by emotion because then they will feel like, this is how I am. This is what it is, and I just act out emotionally. But it’s redirecting that. That’s the difference. Like what do we do with this? There’s nothing wrong with having situational, clinical depression is part of life. It’s nothing wrong with you, Eve, that’s not your title. So, when I talk to girls, they’ll be like, oh, I’m a cutter. My, no, you’re not a cutter. That’s something that you do to behave because you’re trying to express pain. But your name is this. You are everything that’s beautiful. And redirecting that thought because if I keep saying I’m a cutter, I’m sad, I’m depressed, I’m anxious. That’s the narrative you internalize no internalize and everything your whole being your whole experience will project. Just that, that identity. 

36:13  

You become what you think you are and become.

36:17  

So, now that’s where I come in. So, all over the place, that’s all that’s who I attract. And I’ll say they will,’I know I should have life figured out’, no, you don’t. All you need to do is know that you are greater. That’s what I’m instilling in you bigger than any of these false narratives that’s been told to you. You have a purpose, you are loved. You are whole. And they will, ‘I know I’m not. Yes, you are whole. You’re having an experience. And I’m going to find other women that are the organizations to give you the resources to support you in a journey like someone did for me. 

36:52  

Yeah. You have to have it together is easily one of the biggest lies that we can find. 

36:58

Thank you tell me somebody who got it together.

37:01  

Not sitting at this table I’ll tell you for sure. 

37.05 

Because no matter how much money cause even with, I had a lot of money and I had none,

had a lot of great moments and I had a lot of bad ones, that’s being whole. There is no life there is no, you’re not living unless you embrace the parts that are ugly. Period. That’s living. 

37:31  

Can’t make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs.

37:35  

So, now that, I’m wanna see that’s what they’re wanting you to drop these jewels that way.

37:40  

I can’t claim that one. That’s one’s out there. And your timing.

37:46  

I always, on point. I will take that as yeah, yeah.

37:52  

Perfect timing. So, with that, let’s sort of shift to the second half of the show. These are quick hitters. Okay.

37:59  

And just rattle off what comes to your mind as quickly as possible. So, now we’re going to take what you’ve learned and really clarify it. So, what is one of the key takeaways from your career or project so far, one of the core things you learned? 

38:17  

Please know your values, values are impeccable. These are your drivers and life, is going to direct you where you should work. The relationship you should be in. What you should do next in life, the people you assist, the people you should surround yourself is all based on your values. If you don’t know it, look it up. Take an assessment, find out the build on it. Love it. Number two, what is the one piece of advice you would give to your 20-year old self?

38:52  

Everything is relevant. Everything! Sadness, crying, sickness, health, everything, it’s relevant.

39:05  

Now, what is one book or resource that has helped you on your journey?

39:10  

Stumbling Towards Wholeness by Andrew Bauman? 

39:13  

Wow, that’s a good one! But one of the other ones you mentioned that I want to bring up is the Gallup Strengths Finder. It’s not exactly a book. It’s more of a test. But can you give us a quick overview of what that one is? 

39:25  

Yeah, it actually tied the values. The Gallup Strengths Finder has been around for about 20 decades and available in all languages. And they focus on what you naturally do best, your talents and strengths. There are 34 themes, and you take an assessment and based on how you answer the questions, you have at least 10 top themes, leverage on those strengths. So, I’m a communicator, as you see, strategic and just to give you an idea relator so I love relationships, but if you hone in on what you do best versus what you don’t do, well, then you’ll maximize everything that you do and touch.

40:00  

Maximize your impact. I took it back in January of 2017. 

40:06  

Wow! It was fun. 

40:09  

It is fun.

40:10  

It’s a cool little, too.

40:11

And it doesn’t really shift unless you would just like trying to hurry up and take it and get it over with but it really doesn’t show me why your top 10 does shift around but it all still the same.

40:20

Yeah. And I’m not sure if like if I took what was on there and let it kind of like ran in my subconscious for a while and then eventually I was like, Oh no, this is what I want to do. Because I just revisited it like last month for the first time a year to just like Oh, damn, they were ready.

 40:37  

Yeah, we should talk offline because  I’m a coach, and a facilitator-trainor. 

40:43 

Yeah, that’s a good resource. Yes, it is. Now, where can people learn more about you? 

40:49

Yes, you can find me on Instagram, Facebook and my website which is Girlfriends Glass House. 

40:55  

Love It! Minito Reasor, the founder of Girlfriends Glass House, and just all-around fun person to talk to. Thanks for coming on the show.

41:05  

I have one more thing. One more thing. Project. Yeah. Oh, I forgot I did want to mention this. I just had a storytelling event at a music town with some teenage girls talking about social issues. And we are starting a documentary in January calledThis Girl Story 360. So, the documentary is critical. We’re going to follow the girls, two girls, actually, they are struggling with some social issues. Some of that is depression. And we’re going to disrupt this narrative, give them resources and follow them for three months and see if we change and make a big impact. So, that’s coming. That’s in 2020. 

41:36

That’s incredible. Thank you, Minito. Thanks for coming on the show. 

41:39

Thank you so much for having me. Hopefully, you bring me back.

 41:43  

And that does it for our show with Minito Reasor. Now, Minito story is really centered on being vulnerable, to build community and to build empathy into building a relationship with other people. Now unless you’re vulnerable, at some point in time, you’re never really going to be able to truly connect with other individuals and other people that are struggling with similar issues to yours. Because vulnerability is what humanizes us. It wants to let someone else know that we’re human beings and that we can really work together, it builds trust, and it ultimately gives a shared experience that brings us together in a totally new way. And as Minito points out, being vulnerable, allows you to humanize the humans that you’re trying to talk to. Minito also shares a lot about knowing your values, because they’re who you are, and they also tell a bigger story on what drives you. So, if you can create some clarity around what you find important, and even start to get an understanding of why you find it important. It will allow you to continue down a path that will bring you a lot of fulfillment in your career and in your life in general in the long term. That’s it for this week’s show from Taste For Tenacity Show number 38. This is Ben Trela. Thanks for listening!

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